June 6, 2014
10:36PM
24 years, 2 months, 24 days
or 12744994.2 minutes (and then some)
-is how long since I breathed my very first breath on this planet.
It really does look so much smaller in numbers.. and for some, it's just a blink. A short distance traveled with much more to be seen, only a fraction of a life and quite insignificant, yet, for others it is an eternity of a lifetime.
I cannot speak for my future self, but being as old as I've ever been I can say that I have learned more than most, and less than some in 24 years. Out of each struggling day to fit in and survive in this world, I observed what I had to and acted out as necessary.
This might be one of those (silently) acting out moments.
There are two types of people in this world:
A.The living
AKA the people who see how fragile and important every little thing is and never takes the gift of life for granted. Kickin' the bucket with their boots on, when the time comes, that is.
B.The dead
Better known as the Earth's asshole(s).. or the reason the words pessimistic, downbeat, hopeless, and defeat exists in the dictionary.
And really with so many individuals dwelling in the asshole of the earth, you will have to understand why I have mostly chosen a life of solitude with a few minor exceptions. Especially lately. I don't know whether to blame it on the generation, the previous generations, the technology driven society, my expanding perception of the world, all of the above, or realizing that I don't have enough fingers to point...?
Go ahead, look around you... what do you see? Gym rats boasting about their newest lift; people ranting about that show with that stuff; beauty products "improve the skin you're in"; overflowing boredom; and FIND A CURE because your disease is the most rare, the most important, the most abandoned, and only significant because it has affected you and you wouldn't have cared to read about it had it not.
Look again. You'll also see a child was born; that sunset was freakin' beautiful holy-flipping-cow; a lady rescuing puppies from under a broken house in the freezing cold; a smile; how great the crisp breeze smells after a summer thunderstorm and... it may take a bit of marijuana and a few loose screws but... how amazing God is.. and science.. and rainbows.. especially the double ones.
And I guess what I'm trying to say is,
I have stepped back a little bit recently and looked inside. I have been guilty of the top paragraph but I've also been worthy of the bottom one. I have distanced myself from people I do love, and still love, but only because it was distracting my focus off the pitter patters of my children's heartbeat and onto who fought with who and when--
And when one negative things leads to another, before you know it you've landed smackdabb in the middle of the... well, you know..
My body may be broken but my mind is quite beautiful. And as long as my desire to learn never dies and my appreciative nature is never lost, then I'm healthier and happier than any being could ever be.
No comments:
Post a Comment