10:56 AM
Red light. Foot tapping. Anxious.
10:57.5 AM
Sips coffee. Light turns green.
11:00 AM
Drives faster. World is spinning. Gulps coffee.
11:04 AM
Races through the door, coffee in one hand, purse in the other. I'm now late.. 6 year old to the right laughing with older sister, mother trying to quiet them down.
Friendly receptionist. She knows me now. Asks me how I'm doing. I refrain from telling her my throat is on fire from gulping my scalding beverage and smile sweetly instead.. After all, I'm the inconvenience.. I'm the one who's late.
She waves me by. I sit down. Foot tapping. Anxious.
Sip coffee.
Spill coffee.
"Oh shit..." Wipes it off and attempts to play it cool. Nothing happened.
Rustle my hand through some fitness magazines until realizing the 40 year old woman in front of me notices my clumsiness.
Refrain from magazine notion. Sip coffee. Stare at woman.
Look away.
awkward silence
"So Megan, when would you like to start back IV antibiotics?"
After a blur of small talk and what seemed to be only a moment later and I was being asked this question.
These words are like poison bouncing off the cochlea of my inner ear turning from noise into garbage in the Wernicke's area of my poor and pathetic unprepared brain.
I choke for a moment only to try to make sense of my situation.
I'm sorry... I think I've misunderstood.... ha... You see, I thought you said antibiotics.... And, I'm certain we agreed after running around that mountain numerous times that this was not the answer for me anymore. Besides, I was passing out to the point of brain damage when I was on IV's last year. Not to mention I no longer have my port.
his pen taps quickly... he looks troubled and remembering suddenly...
"Ahhhhh.. yes... Well we'll have to manage with oral medications again I suppose. When's the last time you took Minocycline? We need something to break through the blood brain barrier. The symptoms you describe to me....... ever so classic of Lyme. Your brain needs this, and we've got to go after the infection before your stomach can start to feel any bit better."
A complicated patient is all they've ever called me.
He didn't seem stumped in the least this time. Quite calming in a time of terror for one's disheartening news.
YOU are a unique case, Megan. But you're not the only one with these symptoms, in fact, I see many people with cases just like this... and I'm confident that in time we can get you where you need to be.
as encouraging as that sounds I can't help but to kick myself.... I'm not exactly a fan of repeating history
12:08 PM
Mind racing. Car sick.
Conversations and short attention span.
Having to urinate after drinking too much coffee. Foot tapping. Eyes closing. Mentally exhausted, yet, strangely thankful.
Then laughing. Laughing at the comfort my old friend of knowing-what-side-effects-to-expect.
And the thought of this unicorn man listed below.
And to whoever reads these dumb things anyways..
You will now think of me whenever you see that image. MWAH HAA. I may forever be known as the "girl you knew with lyme disease"
influential AND gullible
