10-22-2012

22 days since I’ve had my surgery.

13 days since I’ve started treatments.

9 days.

It has been 9 days since I first made the acquaintance of this persistent control freak of an asshole that they call “a fever”. Seriously? You call this a fever? I always thought fevers were something that broke over a matter of a couple of days… Matter of days meaning like…2 or 3.. But 9? That’s not a fever, that’s a takeover. A personal invasion. That’s trespassing on private property, setting all acreage aflame, and then pissing on the ashes while laughing.

Hey guess what you guys? World War III called. He said he’ll be taking place somewhere underneath your skin. Tell all of the VIP pathogen’s that they’re invited. There’s going to be roasting flesh and internal organs to snack on.

I mean, hell, there might as well be by now…. I can hear my insides screaming.

Oh well. At least I still have my sarcasm. And that’s all I need.

Ha.. ha…
Ha…..
*choke*

It’s the moment of self realization. The moment that this is all too real now. This has been happening for a while, but somehow it’s becoming more and more certain for me.

I’m lying there on my back and all I can do is daydream. Anything that takes me away from the present.

This is the part that I feared. This is the part that made me cringe when I heard “port”. This is the herx.

It is hard to explain how terrible I am feeling at this point. There really are no words that will make you understand what this feels like. Anything that I could write just wouldn’t make sense. It would sound like I am telling an exaggerated story.. since I’m feeling witty tonight, let me humor you a bit with an example.

Here’s the story…
George was a middle aged man driving on his way home from work when he realized that he had nothing to eat at home and needed to make a quick stop into the grocery store. The grocery store was about 10 miles past the exit he would normally pull off onto, so he could see that he wasn’t going to have enough gasoline in his car to make it. George stopped at a nearby gas station, managed to fill up his station wagon, and then continued to the store. He then shopped for food and afterwards made his way back home where he enjoyed dinner.

Here’s the exaggerated version…
George was a decently young man in his prime years of life enjoying a peaceful drive home from work when suddenly ninja’s jumped off an overpass landing on George’s car causing him to swerve off the road and into the grass. George grabbed the recently sharpened martial arts sword that he so happened to have in the trunk of his car and bravely took on the dozen of ninja’s who were fiercely attacking him with their… ergh.. “ninja-like-weapons..”… Anyways. Once George was finished bathing in ninja blood, he conjured up an appetite. When realizing that his fridge was empty because yesterday a grizzly bear broke into his apartment touching nothing except for only the delicacies of the fridge, he decided to make a pit stop at the grocery store. The grocery store was practically 1000000000 miles past the exit he usually takes, so George felt that it would be wise of him to fill his 2013 Ferrari F12 Berlinetta with a tank of awesomeness. While driving into the gas station, George’s car was being mauled by naked super models! They all wanted to hook up with George and ride in his masculine vehicle. One by one George had to make his way through the models with excuses about why he was in such a hurry, but maybe next time *wink wink*… He was then able to continue his journey to the grocery store.
While picking up a can of Green Giant spinach, George was suddenly summoned into Medieval Times where he fought a fearsome dragon for the town’s people of …umm.. some place Medieval. Anyways, in return for George’s bravery, the people of the what’s-it-called-town told him not to worry about food shopping, and magically made food appear in George’s fridge at home, also sending George home along with his 2013 Ferrari F12 Berlinetta. There he was able to enjoy a manly feast of bear meat (yes, the same bear that raided his fridge yesterday).The End.


Now that I have just about wasted your time and mine, I think I can sum this up by saying.. I really feel like hell today, and I wish my life were an exciting exaggerated fairy tale.. But I’m glad that my name is not George.